#4 In November, the earth is growing quiet
word counts + ancient rome + cancelling plans
I’m so happy to see you! How to Build a Life is a newsletter by me, bestselling author of 12 (!!) books Laura Jane Williams, going out to thousands of readers bang in the thick of life’s mess and mayhem… who are still trying to find the magic. I’m almost 40, a solo parent by choice, decorate my house like a tart’s boudoir and lift very heavy weights. Those four things are my entire personality 🥰 I really love writing to you here. Hi.
Looking Backwards, Looking Forwards is my monthly round-up doing exactly that: reviewing the month gone and then thinking ahead. I find it helps remind me how awesome I am. I recommend it! Plus it’s nice sharing these bits and bobs with you :) So without further ado, this was my November (and what I’m looking forward to in December…)
Looking Backwards
Gladiator II. That’s where we’re going to start. I had my ticket booked for opening weekend a month in advance: just me, on a Saturday afternoon, when my kid was with Grandma and Grandad (incidentally in the screen next door, watching Transformers. But still, I was off the clock baby!). I got a small sweet and salty popcorn with a (large, come on now) bag of Malteesers, and a bucket of Diet Coke. The cinema was packed and that made me feel part of something. I loved the whole thing, though of course it isn’t as good as the original and I spent the whole movie confused as to how Paul Mescal was supposed to be Russell Crowe’s son when Russell Crowe was so in love with his wife that he was going to have vengeance for her death in this life or the next??
Was I supposed to believe he had had an affair?? Cheated on the love of his life? Apparently it’s addressed in the first movie and I hadn’t paid enough attention. My bad.
My review is: Pedro Pascal is dreamy, Paul Mescal should get an Oscar nom for Lead Actor but not win, and Denzel deserves the nomination and the win for Best Supporting. Set design and costumes? Give them twenty oscars. Same for the CGI team. Honestly, I felt like I was actually in Ancient Rome. It was trippy for me, because I used to live in Rome, except I was there in 2011 and 2012, not 105 to 404 BCE. I would sometimes get off the Metro at the Coliseum. Not once did I ever look at those ruins, flanked by the incredible Foro Romano, and think anything other than How do I possibly get to see this history on the way to work? Like, what is happening here?
Other times I’d get the bus and end up near my favourite building in Rome: the Pantheon. Now that is something to behold, but gets less air time. My “thing” when I had visitors would be to take them to Gelateria Giolitti, Rome’s oldest ice cream shop, to get a cone of their dense and sickly and unrivalled Nutella, and eat it as we walked around the corner to be confronted by this:
Like my dudes: are you not entertained?
R.E. work this month: well, I did it, I went in. In my last monthly round-up I said I’d been playing around with character profiles and plot points for my 2026 book, and then suddenly it was November 1st and I thought… what if I wrote 2,000 words today? So I did. November 2nd was a Saturday and goddamn it I try not to work weekends but whaddaya know. It didn’t feel like work to do another 1,000 words when my kid was watching cartoons. On the Sunday I wrote 2,000 words more after he’d gone to bed, instead of watching TV, and because of all the character work I’ve done it came out happily, easily, joyfully. After seven days I had 10,000 words. Since my first drafts are always 80,000 words I’d accidentally written 12.5% of a draft in a week. Once I had that kind of momentum it was hard not to keep it up. I should hit 40,000 words by November 30th, which, if you’re keeping up with the maths here, is half a first draft.
Note I said half a first draft, not half a book. It won’t be a book until I’ve had six to eight rounds of edits, but as a running start from having nothing and then having something, that ain’t bad, is it? Writing novels is like climbing a hill: one foot in front of the other until suddenly, you’ve got yourself a view.
I’ve been trying to remember to post about what I’m reading (and enjoying!) on Instagram and within the Substack app lately, which is almost exclusively whatever is 99p on Kindle. I enjoy the ritual of it. On the first day of a new month I click on the little “Kindle Monthly Deals” button and go to town. That way, I’ve always got several titles I’m excited for lined up, meaning I’m less likely to have “urgh! What shall I read?!” paralysis. Plus, at 99p I’m more inclined to take a chance on a “maybe” book, like I did this month with a Sunday Times bestseller that I’d never heard of, that confused me greatly, and I have not included here. I’m not a monster! If I don’t like something, I just don’t mention it! Would that all readers did the same 😉
I always think talking about what you’ve been reading is a knife-edge of an activity, because societally speaking we often equate “reading loads” with “being clever and good” and obviously I do not think that and do not want anybody to think it is “better” to read e.g. four books in a month over e.g. no books, or half a book in a month. Who cares! You do you! Maybe you prioritise reading too, or maybe you’d like to know how I do a book or so a week: well, I read for 45 minutes as my kid falls asleep, and sometimes on a Sunday morning. It adds up! I like reading because it makes my brain calm, but I only read what sounds fun and not what I think I “should”. My phone is always in another room when I read, otherwise I’d just end up scrolling. If I really don’t like a book, I don’t finish it. I never give a book less than four stars - if it’s not good, as stated, I keep my opinions to myself.
In November I read:
Elsewhere by Gabrielle Zevin: technically for readers 12+, of which of course I am one, but don’t let the YA tag fool ya. This book taught me more about love and life and hope than most adult books. The plot is v. original (girl dies young, goes to “elsewhere”, and has to learn to live as she ages backwards until she’s a baby and can be sent back to earth). I’ve read nearly all of Gabrielle Zevin’s books now, and she’s an auto-buy author for me. She writes it, I’ll read it! I recommend this to you, yes, but also to any readers in your life, irregardless of their age.
Pity Party by Daisy Buchanan: this was such a curious book, in that I didn’t know it was going to go as deep and heartfelt as it was, mostly because I judged it by the cover, which looks on first glance sort of ironic and cool. It’s dual timeline, so “then” and “now”, which I always enjoy and is actually really hard to do well, about a young widow who isn’t quite grieving her husband - as the book goes on, you find out why. An easy page-turner.
Shy Creatures by Clare Chambers: I think I got this on the one-day 99p offer Amazon do, because now the list price is a whopping £9.99, but oh this book! Clare Chambers is such an understated, restrained writer, and does those sorts of literary books where you don’t know what you’re reading or where it’s going, you just know you trust her to tell you something good and true. Shy Creatures is no different, and I’m not even going to tell you the plot, I’ll just tell you the mood: this is a book you read between Christmas and New Year, when time is malleable and bends back on itself, when you’ve been up for hours but still not eaten anything but toast and the best bits of your selection box and you aren’t even dressed. The rain is beating down, the tree lights are twinkling, and you feel torn about reading for another hour and thus texting your parents that you can’t come to their Turkey Curry Buffet, or savouring it to read again tomorrow morning. Good xmas gift.
Other things about November:
💌 We got a hundred-and-something snowflake stickers off Amazon, ostensibly for the windows because I can’t be arsed to do full window lights. However, there’s so many that in our house they’re now on any reflective surface able to withstand them: the mirror in the downstairs loo, the front of the microwave, on a teddy bear somewhere. It’s cheering! Sod being festively demure: I’m a fan of holiday cheese and tat these days
💌 I’ve been listening to a playlist called “Winter But Not Christmas” a lot. Isn’t that exactly what we need in this not-quite-full-festive bit? Answer: yes! We do!
💌 As for my on-going pledge to give time and attention to myself via a nice thing daily, weekly, and monthly, I’ve done better in November than I did in October. I’ve had a couple of nights out and feel like I’m doing well with noticing the things worth appreciating. Although. One Saturday night out my kid was supposed to sleep over at my parents so I could have a late one, and he had a breakdown over it, desperately needed us to be asleep in the same house, and so I went to the pub, went for Greek food, and then I came home to be with him. That’s the kind of parent I want to be: if you tell me you need me, that’s enough. I’ll be there. But please let me have just four hours in make-up and a nice top first.
💌 Oh! One last thing! Does anyone else watch BRASSIC? I found it by accident and immediately became obsessed. It’s so delightful! About a group of working class petty thieves in a forgotten town in Northern England, it’s full of love, because they’re a family, and laughs, because they’re all idiots. It zigs when you think it’s going to zag and zags when you think it’s going to zig, and I am so invested in the central love story that sometimes I cannot even breathe. I’m just about to finish season 3, and although there are 6 seasons made they only have the first four on Netflix. I’ll be bereft when I’m done. BEREFT. Although I am looking forward to getting into the festive films Netflix have done - that one with the fit guy as a snowman come to life? I’m hearing sublime things. I can’t wait.
In case you missed it, these are the things I have written on How to Build a Life this month:
a stolen snowy morning (heartwarming) // what it would be like to be seduced by mr potato head (this was a divisive one) // a tour of my home office (you said some nice things about it, thanks!) // how to find joy (and appreciation) (guest interview with Sarah Powell) // I went to a psychic and this is what she said (this was a surprisingly popular one!) // it’s the small things that matter most (featuring a poem I like) // what does a good life look like? (with some lovely comments under it)
R.E. talking about the small things, reader Lucy hit “reply” to that newsletter and said this, about lessons from her mother:
My mum has a little house by the sea in Portugal, and it's her favourite place in the world. We sit on the roof and watch the sun go down time and time again. Every single time she will point out a small fishing boat and say 'look at that nice boat'. And I look. And I smile. And I say 'It's nice.' Every single time she'll say, 'look at the sun on the waves.' And I look. And I'm so glad she's taught me to appreciate the wonder in every single day.
I loved hearing that, a small slice of a reader’s life. Consider this a reminder that if you ever feel pulled to reply to an email, please do, or else you can leave a comment through the Substack app, or even give it a little “heart”. Whatever floats your boat. I’m just thrilled you’re here.
Looking Forwards
I think I might try for another 40,000 words on my novel in December, to get a full draft in before the end of the year, but if I don’t finish it? That’s okay too. Even reaching 60,000 words and then pausing before writing the story’s finale in January would be rad. In between school events, family parties, and a friend coming to stay one weekend, my expectations for myself need to be chill. Chill adjacent, at least. I’m anticipating a lot of change for 2025, so I’d like to arrive at Christmas break feeling able to enjoy the rest, rather than being desperate for the rest. My kid is already flagging so I feel compelled to keep some gas in the tank for patient parenting. When I’m overwhelmed my temper flares 1000% quicker. If I can’t look after myself for myself, at the very least I can look after myself for him.
I know this isn’t everyone’s favourite time of year. My wish is for all of us is to find the December that works for what we need, and what we need will be different year on year on year. I had floated the idea of hosting a games night with my cousin and auntie, way back in August, but changed my mind in the end - it just feels like too much, even though I know it would be a great time. I felt 35% bad for sending that text - “Sorry, now I’ve looked at the diary we can’t do it!” - but 65% I know it’s right for me. Christmas is always a small affair for me and my kid, spent at my parents’, with a bottle of Veuve Cliquot and a jigsaw. This year will be more of the same. I always think the best part of Christmas comes after the 25th anyway, when we all just get to be at home, no expectations, our only worry whether to watch a movie or play a game.
Sending this with love, always, and see you back here on Monday for another How to Build a Life missive,
Laura x
p.s. Have you seen that you can spend a month writing with me in 2025? You don’t need to be “a writer” to get involved, it’s aimed at anyone who just wants a fun thing to do for themselves over the cold weeks of January into February. Check out all the information here, and if you have questions you can simply hit “reply” to this email and I’ll get back to you within 48 hours. We’re going to invent characters, develop dialogue, have our characters do stuff, and then write a final piece that you can send to me for feedback. Yay, writing!!
Loved this! Also the Gabrielle Zevin TOOK ME BACK! I thought it sounded familiar and when I looked it up, realised I’d read it as a kid around the time it came out in 2005! I loved the story so much and now it makes so much sense that it’s a Gabrielle Zevin because she’s such a fantastic storyteller.
Thank you for the playlist recommendation! And I will be searching brassic now. What a name!