Let Me De-Influence You, As a Normal
because compare and despair is sooo last year
👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼 Hi! I’m so happy to see you. I’m Laura Jane Williams, a UK-based romance author. How to Build a Life launched in August 2024, and now has thousands of readers in over 75 countries (!). You can expect personal stories about life’s mess and mayhem, and the search for a way of living that feels right. I’m almost 40, a solo parent by choice, and for 2025 am committed to stealing back time from my to-do list. I’m just sick of being busy with stuff that doesn’t really matter, you know?
I’m currently writing my 15th book, whilst also popping up here twice a week too. I love both things! Don’t make me choose!
I’m a million years late to the “let me de-influence" you” trend, but having just found out about it, watching a bunch of videos of people being normal and not glossy and inspirational on ~social media~, I feel seen, I feel understood, I feel better about the world and my quite un-glossy place in it.
Maybe I used to be aspirational.
There’s a version of me who once existed, the pre-Saturn’s Return me, my friend Lucy would point out, who didn’t know anything because you’re not supposed to when you’re young, and that version of me got to travel the world and try new hair colours and lip-synched to Destiny’s Child on her Instagram Stories to make strangers on the Internet laugh.
In fact, let that be my first “de-influence” thing of note: I used to be more interesting.
(And a lot more performative.)
I’m a suburban mom now, I wear sweatpants 88% of the time. Let’s normalise that!! Hey moms who were once cool! I am one of you! This season of our life ain’t for that, and that’s okay!! Being cool actually takes a lot of hard work, and personally I don’t have the energy.
Other things I’d like to highlight, in a bid to normalise being normal:
🚀 My hairdryer is approximately 15 years old. If you hold it the wrong way your hair can get sucked up the back bit and then broken off - bad for hair, I’m told. I do not have a Shark, a Dyson Airwrap, a Nicky Clarke, none of that. My straighteners are GHD and about seven years old. They work fine. If I want to curl or kink my hair I use those. Nobody can tell!!
🚀 I bought a house last year and thought, because of Instagram and Pinterest, that it would be decorated top to bottom, front to back, including a landscaped garden, all within a matter of months. It is not currently in this finished state, nor is it likely to be within this calendar year or next. It takes a colossal amount of money to decorate when you’ve got taste as good as mine (not normal, to be fair) (although I’m sure your taste is lovely too - you’re here after all) (in fact, whilst you are here, what’s your take on clashing patterns and how much is too much?), and it also takes bandwidth, you know? Like, to even think about design choices e.g. I don’t currently have lampshades on the big lights in my bedroom, or a wardrobe - unless you count storing stuff on the ironing board that seems to be permanently erected. It drives me mad, and yet it persists.