Joy Dump!
here, have some suggestions on stuff to bring a little happiness!
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I’ve been doing happy things on purpose, and it’s been great. I thought I’d tell you about them! You might like to do or watch or investigate or buy some of the things I’ve been enjoying too! Cheryl Strayed’s mum told her: Put yourself in the way of beauty. I say: make yourself a lovely time. I’m calling this a joy dump.
Whether you indulge any of these or not, I hope you’ve got something nice planned for yourself tonight. And this week. And this month. You have to make the effort with your own life, after all. If nobody has reminded you of that lately then please, let me: you’re worth it.
BOOKS
You know me! Love to read! It’s when my brain feel quietest and cleverest. I suppose I don’t watch much telly because reading is the thing I prioritise. Right now I’m getting a solid 30 minutes as my son plays before bed, as per our new routine, and then maybe another half hour when I go to bed. Sometimes I even do thirty minutes reading on a bench in the sun at lunch! 90 minutes of reading a day… that feels like true wealth to me. Now I’ve added it all up yeah, I feel rich.
I’m on a really good roll of great reads, mostly because my Kindle broke so I’ve taken myself off the 99p Kindle Monthly Deal rule I had, where I’d take a punt on whatever was on offer, and now I let myself buy fancy hardbacks. I pass them on to an influencer friend who gives me skincare she doesn’t want in exchange. So really… I’m making money??? WAIT A MINUTE, READING REALLY IS MAKING ME RICH!!
Anyway, girl maths aside I can vouch for all of these. Extra points if you get to read sat on a patch of warm grass in the sun too:
The Correspondent: worldwide sleeper hit for a reason, and that reason is that we love a protagonist who seemingly doesn’t give a sh*t, is older and set in her ways, and says it like it is (that’s why we all loved Lessons in Chemistry, right?) This is told purely in letters, which is a vibe. No spice. Safe to gift any woman of any age. Charming!!
Lost Lambs: smart and funny, and to be honest perhaps just a little too aware that it is both of these things. But! You get to follow the unraveling of a family from all their points of view, so it feels like hopping from short story to short story, and everyone is self-centered and doesn’t realise what everyone else is up to, and actually, being smart and funny and aware of those things means the big leaps it takes in plot don’t feel unbelievable, they feel like yeah, okay, this is exactly what a wry, knowing author would do, so fine, I’ll strap in for the ride. Made me feel Gen Z-adjacent.
Finding Grace: I knew nothing of this book, saw no press for this book, was NOT expecting the first chapter to do what it did, and then was like wait, what? Where is this going?! To say any more would be to spoil it. This would be very good on a sun lounger in between e.g. reading my next book and then a bonkbuster, for intellectual balance. Very millennial.
Wild Dark Shore: A bit end-of-world confronting, so don’t read it if the news makes you sad, but when you’re emotionally robust enough for a story featuring a dad and kids lost without their wife and mother who died, on a very remote island, this is good. Not joyous, per se, but one of those reads that makes you go: oh yeah, books are dead good aren’t they.
Famesick: Brilliant. Insightful. Raced through it in two days. Such a gorgeous reminder of what a fantastic writer Lena Dunham is, with enough behind-the-scenes gossip of her time making GIRLS to quench your thirst without you feeling like you know things you shouldn’t. It’s basically a love story, but the love story is between her and the older woman who was supposed to guide her through being twenty-four and in charge of the set of a TV show, and ultimately how Lena felt let down by her. But. You know. That’s just my take. READ IT.
Yesteryear: holy moly!! Original, timely, very cleverly done. A+++++++. I couldn’t put it down!!
PERFUME
This Zara perfume has blown my mind. I just don’t buy designer scents anymore, not when the high street smells as good as this for £20. £20!!! I mean… are you kidding me!! You’ve got your coconut water base! Sandalwood! Ambery woody tones too! The website says warm, creamy and enveloping - YES. I got it because I smelled it on my friend and she smelled expensive. When I wear it, I get compliments. I need to go in store to try sniffing more but for now, this is GREAT.
ART
I’m still Painting by Numbers!! This one hangs in my bathroom, framed, because I’m just so proud of it. I got this set off Amazon before Christmas but it’s a bit fiddly, a bit low budget. It does the job when I want to feel productive and stop my hands reaching for my phone, though, and painting by numbers is really nice when you have the back doors open to listen to the birds and a nice glass of something very cold. I want this one next - apparently faceless women are my thing? There is less joy in the painting by numbers if I examine that too much.
KNICKERS
How many fraying edges did I need my pants to have before I added some more to the cart when I was topping up my kid’s school t-shirts? (I can’t reveal the answer to that. I am ashamed.) I just like an M&S Black Thong. They’re not fancy, but I don’t need to be a fancy pants! I just like a thong with a good stretch, sized up for extra comfort. I get these. (And next up I need to get some new bras, too. I wear some old padded crop top things that do me no favours at all. Somebody measure me up, quick!)
TOASTER TONGS
These bamboo toaster tongs cost £4 and sat in my shopping basket for… four years. I’m such an idiot, because now we finally have these my kid can make his own bagels, and muffins, and crumpets, and morning toast, just like he does at school breakfast club, without getting burnt fingers. That bit at 6.45pm when he says he’s still hungry, despite having had dinner and pudding? He’s on his own, with all the equipment he needs to sort himself out.
WALKING APP
My kid and I are back to taking hikes now it’s warmer, and I’m trialling the All Trails app which is the best I’ve found so far. After an especially great schlep my kid and I agreed circular walks at about four or so miles are our sweet spot, and I was able to search for those exact things, within an hour of our house, and then collate what I thought looked good for my kid to go through so he could choose for himself. He complained to my mother recently that I NEVER GET ANY CHOICES ABOUT ANYTHING!!!!!! so it’s stuff like this that make a difference to him getting involved in his decision about his own life. And if he chooses the walk, he can’t then complain about it. Ah-ha!!
CINEMA
As you’ll know - or maybe you’re new here! - I’ve been holding on to the time previously carved out for dating to spend time by myself. If my kid is with Grandma and Grandad, being at home and enjoying my house in the quiet is often the move. But if the babysitter comes for a few hours, I’ll take myself out to see whatever is on at the local cinema. Yes, alone! I love a solo cinema! Admittedly, it feels more indulgent and less Friendless Fiona on a weekday than a Saturday night but I’ve been known to do both. Weird how I am choosing to spend time alone and yet I still worry I look like a loser.
I’ve been seeing stuff I wouldn’t have otherwise chosen to see - whatever works for the free time I have. I’ve been expanding my cultural horizons! These have made me smile:
Hail Mary Project: CHARMING, HEART-WARMING, UNEXPECTED, A MODERN CLASSIC!! RYAN GOSLING!!!
Mother’s Pride: A proper British movie, in the vein of Calendar Girls. It wasn’t unexpected, but that’s not the point of a film like this is it. It was comforting, and I will always have a soft spot for British-made movies like this. A good one to take parents to.
Send Help: Rachel McAdams looking dowdy, arguing with her useless nepo baby boss, and then ending up stranded with him on a desert island and coming over all Girl Friday? Soooooo not what I’d watch of my own volition, but it was fun!!
Devil Wears Prada 2: It’s not amazing, but it’s a cute story and I made a decision to enjoy it. I’m thrilled for them that they’ve made their budget back several times over!!
Anyone want to hop in the comments to share what you’d offer in your own joy dump? I’m very much in the business of keeping this up. Having a nice time is so… nice!!
How good was Project Hail Mary! I didn't expect to love it so much!!
> I made a decision to enjoy it.
Oh, I like this idea!